


Right Said Yuuri

by BertholdvonMoosburg



Series: Detroit Musical Shenanigans [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Crack, Crack and Angst, Established Relationship, Humor, Lingerie, M/M, Minor pet death, Musical References, Podfic, Pre-Canon, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 15:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12061467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BertholdvonMoosburg/pseuds/BertholdvonMoosburg
Summary: Arguments happen.Many of them can be solved with a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, particularly between roommates who generally get along. Some, however, cannot, particularly when one of those roommates has a psychic-like ability to win rock-paper-scissors. Even if those roommates are boyfriends.As a result, Phichit Chulanont and Yuuri Katsuki had an agreement that they would each get to pick the pizza joint for their Wednesday dinner on alternating weeks. The other would pick the movie.





	Right Said Yuuri

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by art by [Bracari Iris](http://bracari-iris.tumblr.com/post/161671494355/phichuuri-week-7-detroit-era)
> 
> Oh my goodness! This fic [has been podficced](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12558608) by the amazing Luovien! Go check it out!

Arguments happen. 

Many of them can be solved with a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, particularly between roommates who generally get along. Some, however, cannot, particularly when one of those roommates has a psychic-like ability to win rock-paper-scissors. Even if those roommates are boyfriends.

As a result, Phichit Chulanont and Yuuri Katsuki had an agreement that they would each get to pick the pizza joint for their Wednesday dinner on alternating weeks. The other would pick the movie.

At first, they’d just picked a place near their shared apartment. The pizza was alright, but it was a big chain and nothing to call home about. It was Phichit who had had the brilliant idea to start exploring. His top-notch google-fu had resulted in a list of twenty-seven pizza joints that delivered in their area, excluding repeats of chain restaurants. For the sake of rigor, they’d ordered from the big chains first, and declared them passable but uninspired (Yuuri made notes). Then they started on the independents, the mom-and-pops. On the fifteenth week, Phichit declared his search over and that he would be content to order from Amar Pizza for the rest of his life.

He agreed to keep experimenting for the sake of science, but that resolve lasted three weeks before he begged for a return to Amar. “Okay, but just this once” lasted a further two weeks. 

His boyfriend insisted on finishing their experiment, admitting in the ensuing argument that the place from the week before, Supino’s, was his favourite so far. 

By the time their list was complete, neither of them had found a place to surpass Amar or Supino’s, respectively. The following week, they rock-paper-scissored for it. And the following week. And the next.

Finally, Phichit and Yuuri struck a truce. 

It was a good truce, and worth the cost of the lactaid Yuuri took each Wednesday. 

***

Trial Seventeen fell during the hottest week of the summer. Pizza Papalis had great sauce, but Yuuri and Phichit agreed that the crust was a touch too thin for their liking. 

After Yuuri had made notes in the spreadsheet, Phichit pulled out the binder of DVDs and began flipping through, Yuuri stood and stretched. Without thinking about it, he pulled off his t-shirt and stripped off his training shorts. Boxer-briefs were more than enough between the two of them, he knew. You don't share a rink and a house for two years without passing comfort with casual nudity around each other.

It was when he heard the sound of a disc hitting the ground that Yuuri realised what he'd done. What he had put on that morning and forgotten about. He froze in panic.

“Yuuri!” Phichit gasped. “You have such great ideas,  _ why didn't you warn me _ ?” 

“I wasn't planning it,” he muttered.

“Well I don't care. It's a great idea and I'm doing it too. Don't you dare change,  _ Ûan _ . I'll be right back.”

Yuuri sighed. Of course Phichit would turn an accident like this into an Event. He just stood there, red as a tomato, waiting.

When Phichit returned, Yuuri couldn't help but look him up and down admiringly. While he was still embarrassed that he'd accidentally revealed his red lace thong, it was possibly made worth it to see his boyfriend’s black bikini and matching garter belt and stockings.

“I've… never seen those before,” he managed. “You look…  _ good _ .” He looked away, hoping to keep his thong from moving from “precarious” to “totally inadequate”. 

Phichit threw himself on the couch. “Movie’s on the floor, if I didn't break it when your ass made me drop it.”

***

They didn't end up watching the movie. To his dying day, Yuuri couldn't even have told you which one it was. 

The following afternoon, between class and practice, he found a quiet spot in the student centre back in a corner, and did some online shopping. He blushed a lot, he learned a lot, and he ordered a lot. (In his opinion, anyway.) His furtive, spur of the moment purchase - during which he had never actually looked the sales clerk in the eye - would not be enough. 

He'd thought a lot about it during the day. He'd thought  _ an awful lot _ about it. There was no way his boyfriend had just the one set of lingerie. Yuuri’s competitive side could not bear the thought of being caught out the next time a spontaneous lingerie night occurred. He placed three orders on different sites and resigned himself to tofu and beans for the rest of the month (except for pizza night, of course).

Wednesday rolled around again. Yuuri didn't wear his new lingerie to practice, not wanting to sweat all over the delicate garments. He did manage to change into a lacy panty and bralette set while Phichit was arguing choreography with Ciao Ciao. He shivered pleasantly. 

Yuuri didn't stop with removing his shoes when they entered their shared apartment. He left a trail of clothing behind him on his way to the phone.

“Well?” he said, forcing himself to stand there openly. “Pull up the list and order.”

Sitting through classes the next day was an uncomfortable experience. He told Ciao Ciao he was sick and, for the first time ever, skipped practice.

***

By the time they finished their audit of Detroit pizzerias, Phichit and Yuuri had managed to return to their pizza and movie night tradition. They just did it in lingerie. And if the sex was a bit more enthusiastic than other nights, they felt a bit less guilty about the pizza.

It was nearly a year after the pizza night tradition started when Yuuri found himself alone at the rink. Phichit, who didn't have Wednesday afternoon classes, was usually there before him. That day, he was nowhere to be seen.

“Coach,” Yuuri asked during the first break, “where is Phichit? Is he okay? I thought he was going to be working on his triple axel this afternoon.”

“Sorry, Yuuri,” Ciao Ciao replied, “I thought you knew or I would have told you an hour ago. Phichit won't be in today. His hamster died. I hate rodents, but I know he loved the little thing. I gave him the afternoon off.” 

Yuuri’s hands flew to his mouth. “Kurt!” he gasped. “Phichit must be devastated! Coach, can I leave early today? He should have someone with him!” 

Ciao Ciao nodded. “Alright, Yuuri. Give me another 45 minutes on the quad toe loop, and we'll pack it in early. I'm surprised he didn't call or text you himself.”

“I left my phone in my gear bag, so I wouldn't have heard it if he did. Thanks, Coach.”

Sore from a dozen distracted jumps, Yuuri nevertheless changed in record time and hurried out of the rink. Halfway home, he stopped. If it was him and Vicchan, he wouldn't want to be coddled. “There, there” just made him feel pathetic, and he didn't want to make his boyfriend feel even worse. He took a deep breath, and turned left at the next corner instead of hurrying on.

A block up was a shop he'd never mustered the courage to go into. Safe, anonymous shopping online was bad enough. Going into an actual sex shop, with its neon lights and its absurdly clad mannequins, was a mortifying thought. Yuuri clutched his bag close and pulled open the door, which didn't jingle. It moaned.

Ten excruciating minutes later, he made the door moan again. He shuddered. Putting his bag down, he stuffed his purchases inside and pulled out his phone. It was his turn to order from Supino’s, but he didn't even need to scroll through his contact list. 

“Hi, Amar’s? It's Yuuri. Yeah, I know it's the wrong week. Yeah, I'm early. Can I get our usual order? Okay, thanks, yeah. I'll meet you at the front door as usual. Thanks!”

He waited outside the building until the delivery car pulled up. Minutes later he was shouldering open the door to their apartment, pizza in one hand and gear in the other. He threw his bag down, toed off his shoes, and tossed the food on the counter.

“Phichit-kun?” he called. “Phichit, I'm home early, Ciao Ciao let me go.”

The door to his boyfriend’s room was slightly ajar, and he carefully pushed it open. “Phichit-kun?”

“There you are.” He could see his boyfriend curled up on the rumpled bed. He sat. “Hey. Hey, come here.” He pulled Phichit up into a hug. 

They just sat there quietly like that for a while. 

Finally Phichit took a deep, shuddery breath. “Kurt was a good hamster. He never fought with Donald. And he would sit so calmly in my hair.”

“He held the house record for sunflower seed cheek-stuffing,” Yuuri added.

They sat quietly for a few more minutes. 

“The gardens out back of the rink don't have any CCTVs,” Yuuri offered. 

Phichit looked up at him questioningly.

“For a funeral. Late tonight. No one's ever around when I go to skate at night. We'll give him a fitting send off by the ice.”

Phichit nodded. His eyes were dry but red. Yuuri gave him another squeeze. 

“There's Amar on the counter, when you're ready. Take a few minutes. I need to change and I'll be right out, OK?”

“But Yuuri, it's your turn to order tonight!”

“Yep,” Yuuri smiled. “And I picked Amar tonight. It's fine, okay? I'll be out in a minute.” He kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head and stood. When he left the room, he carefully shut the door.

Hurrying to his own room, Yuuri kept an ear out for the sound of his boyfriend emerging. He pulled out his purchases from the  _ awful _ store he hoped never to even pass by again. He was halfway into the unexpectedly complicated lingerie when he heard the  _ snick _ of Phichit’s door opening. 

Plan B, then. Plan A: Artful Lounging would have been easier.

He located his phone on the bed, made sure it was connected to the speakers in the living room, and queued up a song Phichit had insisted he leave on there. It wasn't on any of his actual play lists and he'd never planned on hearing it again, but this was  _ Phichit _ .

With a bit of cursing, he got himself into the lingerie properly and pulled his t-shirt back over his head.

At the door, he took a deep breath. And another.

He hit play.

The moves themselves weren't the problem as he danced down the hall. His whole life revolved around moving attractively to music. He had extensive training in multiple forms of dance, up to and including the pole lessons Phichit had dragged him to. Doing it without curling up and vanishing into a singularity of embarrassment was another matter.

Phichit turned to look down the hall as the music filled the apartment. Yuuri was strutting slowly, waiting to catch his eye. Exactly as the singer pouted that he was “too sexy for this shirt,” Yuuri lifted the hem of the garment in question and tossed it behind him. He stood there with a haughty look on his face, black leatherette straps criss-crossing his shoulders, chest, and abdomen. Matching straps around his cock and ass only technically counted as underwear. 

Phichit gaped. Yuuri smirked at him and continued strutting down the hallway until he stood in front of his boyfriend. Following the music, he turned himself around slowly, like a model on a catwalk, and ground his ass back into Phichit. Pulling away from his stunned boyfriend, Yuuri continued dancing through the ridiculous song, running his hands over himself and toying with the straps of his “lingerie”. 

When it ended, he wound his hands around Phichit’s neck and raised an eyebrow. “It  _ is _ Wednesday, after all,” he said in his best sultry voice. “The pizza is here. Are you going to pick a movie and join me?”

His boyfriend nodded wordlessly and kissed him.

It was long, slow, and heated, and then Phichit slithered out of his arms and ran down the hallway. Yuuri heard the bedroom door slam and slumped in relief. Quickly he put slices of pizza on plates and brought them to the coffee table. When Phichit emerged, clad only in his favourite sky-blue lacy bra and panties, Yuuri was draped invitingly over the couch. 

“Pick a movie and join me,” he smiled.

Phichit laughed suddenly. “You!  _ Ûan _ , I can't believe you just did that. Just to cheer me up! Where on  _ earth _ did you find that…  _ outfit _ on such short notice?” 

Yuuri made a face. “Somewhere I'm never going near again. You know I care about you, right? I'll help you give Kurt a little funeral later tonight, I promise. But right now, pick a movie, come sit in my lap, and let's enjoy the most embarrassing pizza and lingerie night since the first one.”

“I'm pretty sure you mean the most awesome one,” Phichit grinned, holding up the King and the Skater 2 Director’s Cut DVD. 

“Anything you want tonight, Phichit-kun.”

“I'm going to hold you to that,” Phichit promised, picking up the remote.

And if all that they managed that night was to put Kurt’s body in a little decorative box in the fridge, well, it was unlikely that the rink would suddenly install CCTVs before they could sneak out tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, guys. That started as pure fluff but it got feelsy on me.
> 
> I have had a _lot_ of hamsters over the years. A lot. Theye are adorable but not terribly long-lived critters so Phichit definitely lost a couple of them in Detroit.


End file.
